Sunday, June 25, 2023

School Board's Quest to Ban "The Life of Brian" Backfires Spectacularly, Inspiring Worldwide Faith in Comedy

In a remarkable display of irony, Tennessee's Enlightened County School Board recently embarked on a misguided crusade to ban the iconic Monty Python film, "The Life of Brian," due to its irreverent take on faith. In an attempt to protect their own delicate beliefs, board members unwittingly became the unwitting stars of a comedy sketch themselves. 

Monday, June 19, 2023

Judge Searches For Oversized Muzzle To Silence Trump's Mouth

Washington D.C. - In an unprecedented legal battle, a judge finds himself in a peculiar predicament: he simply cannot locate a muzzle large enough to contain the boisterous oratory of former President Donald J. Trump. As the courtroom drama unfolds, the nation watches in disbelief.

10 Ways To Stay Calm When Your Religious Coworker Asks, "What Church Do You Go To?" When They Know You're An Atheist

Want to stay calm when your coworker asks you what church you belong to when they know you're not religious? Try out these responses.

1. The Philosophical Reflection:

Respond with a touch of philosophical pondering. Say something like, "I'm watching documentaries on science. My faith lies in exploring the mysteries of the universe and embracing the beauty of this awe-inspiring cosmos."

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

The Ghost Of Christopher Hitchens Haunts The Ghost Of Mother Teresa

In a bizarre turn of spectral events, the ghost of the renowned atheist and author Christopher Hitchens has reportedly taken up residence in the afterlife and chosen to haunt none other than the ghost of Mother Teresa, the Catholic nun and supposed humanitarian.

Monday, June 12, 2023

Governor DeSantis Burns Books During His Fireside Chats

Tallahassee, Florida In an unprecedented move, Governor Ron DeSantis has taken his fireside chats to a whole new level of intellectual pyrotechnics. While most leaders use such chats to communicate with their constituents, Governor DeSantis has found a rather unconventional way to connect with the people of Florida – by burning books.

Barron Trump and Greta Thunberg Announce Unlikely Engagement: Climate Change Unites Political Dynasties

Washington, D.C. - In an unexpected turn of events, the worlds of politics and climate change collided yesterday when it was announced that Barron Trump, son of former President Donald Trump, and Greta Thunberg, the renowned environmental activist, are planning to tie the knot. This unexpected union has left the political establishment and the climate change community in a state of shock, to say the least.

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Pat Robertson Is Dead, And The Only Thing I Got Is A Country Teetering On Becoming A Theocracy

In a moment that could only be described as "Wow, he was still alive?", Pat Robertson, the legendary televangelist and self-proclaimed spiritual guide, has departed from this mortal coil. As his followers mourn the loss of their revered leader, the rest of us are left with a peculiar aftermath: a country teetering on the precipice of transforming into a full-fledged theocracy. 

Thanks, Pat.

Saturday, June 10, 2023

Presidential Candidate Donald Trump To Conduct Live Interview With Himself On Twitter

In a move that has surprised absolutely no one, former President Donald Trump has announced that he will be conducting a live interview with himself on Twitter. This unconventional approach to campaigning has generated considerable anticipation and curiosity among the public and media outlets alike.

Friday, June 9, 2023

Scientists Discover Dinosaurs' Atheism Caused Their Extinction

In a groundbreaking scientific discovery, a group of paleontologists uncovered definitive evidence proving that dinosaurs' lack of religious belief played a significant role in their ultimate demise. The revelation has sent shockwaves through the scientific community and religious institutions worldwide.

Thursday, June 8, 2023

Guess The Word That Describes Donald Trump

Word Game

Word Game

Guess the Word

Wednesday, June 7, 2023

Trump: Chop Down Canadian Trees To Prevent Forest Fires

Former President Donald Trump has reportedly suggested a controversial solution to combat forest fires in Canada: chopping down the entire country's forests. The proposal, met with bewilderment from experts and environmentalists alike, is already making waves across the globe.

Mike Pence Pledges To Establish The Department Of Anti-Satan

Former Vice President Mike Pence has officially declared his candidacy for the 2024 presidential race. Along with his bid for the presidency, Pence has made an unconventional promise to establish a Department of Anti-Satan, raising eyebrows and garnering a range of responses. Notably, the Satanic Temple and the Church of Satan have weighed in on this proposal, voicing their concerns and providing their perspectives on the matter.

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Biblical Scholars Unearth Long-Lost Verse Explaining Divine Reluctance To Heal Amputees

In a groundbreaking revelation that has sent shockwaves through religious communities worldwide, a team of esteemed biblical scholars has reportedly unearthed a long-lost verse in the Bible that sheds light on the perplexing question of why God doesn't heal amputees. This discovery has provided a much-needed explanation to an age-old quandary that has left countless amputees scratching their heads and prosthetic limbs.

Monday, June 5, 2023

Breaking News: Atheist Disappointed With Science

In a shocking revelation today, local atheist John Smith expressed deep disappointment after realizing that his lack of religious belief did not automatically grant him instant scientific knowledge. Smith, who proudly identifies as an atheist, had held a secret hope that his rejection of faith would mysteriously endow him with an encyclopedic understanding of scientific principles, theories, and discoveries.

Thursday, June 1, 2023

Florida Man Launches Unconventional Presidential Campaign For 2024

In a political spectacle that has left pundits scratching their heads and voters gasping in equal parts amusement and disbelief, the infamous Florida Man has officially thrown his hat into the ring for the 2024 presidential race. Armed with a rap sheet of bizarre and outrageous escapades, Florida Man is set to take the world of politics by storm, promising a White House experience like no other