Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Arrested For Witchcraft

Washington DC - Representative  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was arrested in her office early this morning on the charges of witchcraft. The arrest warrant states the Democratic legislator ‘put hexes’ on President Trump and other members of the administration. “One witch down and at least one Pelosi to go,” quipped Department of Anti-Witchcraft (DAW) Chief Andrew Canard. “Seriously, there are  a lot of witches on my list.” The DAW is responding to charges of witchcraft leveled at Ocasio-Cortez by Dave Kubal, president of  the Religious Right group Intercessors for America. He told his followers of the devilry brewing in the US District Court for the Southern New York District:
“So, right in the middle of all of this, the southern district, in the middle of where these witches are doing the 24/7 spell-casting, we find the territory of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,” Kubal added. “Her district is in the center of all of this going on. Is this a coincidence? Maybe … Is there an evil thread running through this area, trying to dispel diabolical power?”