Monday, January 24, 2022

Mitch McConnell Clarifies That Nazis Are "Real Americans"

Senator Mitch McConnell is under fire for saying the quiet part out loud. He was already in trouble for not supporting the voting rights bill that would protect Black voters. While addressing reporters concerning his position, the Senate Minority Leader said, “Well, the concern is misplaced, because if you look at the statistics, African-American voters are voting in just as high a percentage as Americans."

Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Tennis Star Novak Djokovic Arrested For Forging Documents


Belgrade, Serbia - Novak Djokovic is in jail and waiting to see a judge. He was arrested yesterday. The charge? Forging a document. The maximum penalty for such a crime in this country nestled in the Balkans is 20 years. 

Sunday, January 16, 2022

Lauren Boebert Is In Big Trouble With This Primary Challenger


Representative Lauren Boebert is in the political fight of her life. The thirty-five-year-old right-wing radical is facing a primary challenger who is determined to unseat her. Her foe is a seasoned politician who spreads extreme positions and threatens to steal her political base.

Saturday, January 15, 2022

Joe Rogan Challenges 270 Doctors And Scientists To A Fight


Joe Rogan means business. The comedian, UFC commentator, and host to the world's largest podcast is challenging 270 doctors and scientists to a fight. Combat can be at the time of the choosing of the 270 and can be at the arena of their choice. 

Thursday, January 13, 2022

Pope Francis Bans Communion For Anti-Vax Catholics


For months the US Conference of Catholic Bishops attempted to create rules to deny communion to those faithful who are pro-choice. While they were unsuccessful, Pope Francis stunned the world by ordering all clergy to withhold the sacrament to anti-vaxxers.

Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Eric Trump Receives A Genetically Modified Pig Organ


It's a medical miracle. For the first time, doctors successfully transplanted an organ from a pig into a human being. The emergency surgery occurred last weekend and so far the patient is doing fine. The recipient is no other than Eric Trump.

Eric Trump received a genetically modified brain of a two-year-old Sus domesticus (barnyard pig). Scientists removed a troublesome gene responsible for pig organs to be rejected by their human hosts. It's a huge step forward for the medical profession as well as for Eric Trump.

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

Joe Rogan's COVID Diet: He'll Eat Only Meat And Drink Urine For A Month


Joe Rogan to drink his own pee for a month.

Comedian, podcaster, and COVID anti-vaxxer Joe Rogan announced he is focusing only on eating meat for the next 30 days. He's done something similar before. During that 30 day period, he only ate meat and fruit. Not only is he forgoing the fruit this time around, but Rogan is also looking to "elevate" his immune system by drinking his own urine.

Sunday, January 9, 2022

Pope Francis Supports Adopting Human Babies At Animal Shelters

Vatican City - Pope Francis announced today the Catholic Church is promoting the adoption of human children at animal shelters. Dubbed "Adopt a Fur Baby and Get a People Baby" this program is to fight what the pontiff stated was "the loss of humanity" when couples choose pets over having children.

Saturday, January 8, 2022

Far Right Rep. Matt Gaetz: "I'm Proud Of My Sex Trafficking Work"

Matt Gaetz is in the political fight for his life. He represents Florida's 4th district and is up for reelection. Democrats are hoping to use his ties to former President Donald J. Trump against him as well as Gaetz's sordid history. It's a strategy that may just win over independent voters.

Seeing the potential danger, Representative Gaetz is following Trump's playbook by doubling down on controversy. The 39-year-old politician recently called a press conference and stated he is proud of his work as a sex trafficker. He also insisted the government was the real villain.