Saturday, April 29, 2023

Iceland Mandates Mental Health Warnings On All Bibles

Reykjavik, Iceland -  The government of this small island country voted unanimously to place warning labels on every Bible. Not only will the cover of each and every tome have a warning, but there are to be reminders placed throughout the so-called holy book to remind readers they are putting their hearts and minds at risk.

Joel Osteen Tests Negative for Christianity

Houston, Texas - Megachurch minister and multimillionaire Joel Osteen tested negative for Christianity early this morning. The random blood test showed the man who made a fortune on the prosperity gospel is, in fact, not a Christian.

Blood tests and science are Satan's tools. 

- Joel Osteen

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Tucker Carlson And Bill O'Reilly's Podcast Fail

Former FOX News stars Tucker Carlson and Bill O'Reilly attempted to team up and create their own podcast, Rebels Without a Network (RWN). Both men were initially excited about the opportunity to work together and bring hard-hitting news analysis to their listeners. However, personality clashes brought an end to those dreams.

Sunday, April 23, 2023

God Hates The Same People As You Do

Cambridge, MA - A new study from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology proves that God hates the same people as you do. Not only does the Almighty despise the same people as you do, but He pretty much shares your opinion on politics, music, and sports. 

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Prince Charles Writes To Meghan Markle 'I'd be aware if I were unconsciously racist'

London, England -
In a letter that many are characterizing as angry and overly defensive, King Charles III  wrote Meghan Markle that he'd be fully aware if he were unconsciously racist.

His letter comes in response to Markle's letter stating that the royal family harbored unconscious racism. There were some royals who were concerned about how dark her and Prince Harry's child's skin would be and were quite open about it.