Saturday, August 26, 2023

Vivek Ramaswamy Announces Conversion to Christianity

Des Moines, Iowa – In a stunning move that has left both constituents and political analysts scratching their heads, Republican presidential hopeful Vivek Ramaswamy announced his conversion to Evangelical Christianity, a religion he believes will give him the ultimate advantage in his quest for the presidency.

Friday, August 25, 2023

Supreme Court Shocker: Feline Felonies Fail to Faze Feline-Friendly Judges

*In a landmark decision that has left the nation's legal scholars scratching their heads, the Supreme Court ruled that cats are incapable of committing the heinous act of "puurjury." In a unanimous verdict, the justices declared that cats' vocalizations and behaviors do not rise to the level of criminal deception, thereby exonerating countless kitties accused of fabricating tales.*

Washington, D.C. – In a purrhaps unprecedented move, the highest court in the land has taken a giant leap for feline-kind. The Supreme Court, known for its solemnity and serious demeanor, found itself grappling with the pressing question: Can a cat, that paragon of inscrutable indifference, actually be held accountable for purjury?

Saturday, August 19, 2023

Britney Spears Unveils Quantum Revelations: "My Universe, My Entanglement"

LOS ANGELES, CA - In an unexpected turn of events, pop sensation Britney Spears has taken to social media to share a cryptic message that has left fans and physicists alike scratching their heads. The "Oops!... I Did It Again" singer, known for her chart-topping hits and high-energy performances, recently posted a thought-provoking video in which she delves into the realm of quantum entanglement.

Pig Brain Implant Turns Friend from Boring to Boisterous

CHATSWORTHVILLE, USA - A man's social circle is agog with astonishment after he underwent an unconventional procedure that replaced his human brain with that of a pig. According to his friends, the resulting transformation has been nothing short of miraculous, with the formerly mild-mannered fellow now radiating a porcine charm that has everyone hog-wild.

Saturday, August 5, 2023

Joe Rogan Claims Bigfoot May Have Participated in January 6th Insurrection

In a recent episode of his wildly popular podcast, Joe Rogan Experience, host Joe Rogan delved into an unexpected topic that left both his guests and listeners puzzled. Rogan, known for his eclectic range of interests, confidently stated that no one could be certain that the elusive Bigfoot wasn't involved in the infamous January 6th insurrection at the U.S. Capitol.