Monday, September 4, 2023

Ron DeSantis's Shocking Citizenship Test Failure Reveals Unprecedented Ignorance

Not the right answer.

TALLAHASSEE, FL - In a stunning turn of events, Florida Governor and presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis has failed the U.S. citizenship test, raising serious concerns about his understanding of American history and government. The test, which is required for immigrants seeking to become U.S. citizens, covers basic knowledge of American civics and history. It consists of 100 questions, and applicants must answer at least 60 of them correctly to pass. However, DeSantis struggled to answer even the most fundamental questions.

Sunday, September 3, 2023

BREAKING: Mitch McConnell Stares in Disbelief at His Own Age, Discovers He's Ancient

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an astonishing turn of events, Senator Mitch McConnell was reportedly left utterly dumbfounded today and blankly stared into space as he discovered just how ancient he truly is. The Kentucky Senator, long known for his stoic demeanor and mastery of political maneuvering, found himself unable to comprehend the passage of time when confronted with his own age.

Donald Trump Declares His Mugshot "Greatest"

"My mugshot will go down in the anals of history."

Fulton County, Georgia - In a shocking turn of events, former President of the United States Donald J. Trump who was recently arrested on felony charges of trying to overturn the 2020 election has boldly proclaimed his mugshot to be nothing short of a masterpiece, surpassing all previous mugshots in the "anals" of criminal history.