Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Kim Kardashian Finally Understands That Armenia and Armani Are Two Different Things

Kim schools the Armenian government in fashion.
It's been a week of international mystery for Kim Kardashian as she has struggled with the harsh fact that Armenia, the country, and Armani, the Italian fashion house, are not the same thing.

"She had a major problem with Australia and Austria for a long long time," disclosed an anonymous Kardashian. "I'm just waiting to see how long it takes Kimmy takes to figure out Georgia, the country, and Georgia, the US state, are two totally different places."

Kim, Khloe, and their two cousins, Kara and Kourtni descended on the small mountainous country recently to raise awareness of the Armenian Genocide. The death of approximately 1.5 million Armenians in 1915 at the hands of the Ottoman Turks is still a controversial topic. Turkey still demands that they did not plan out the genocide. Rather, it was simply an unfortunate event during World War One.

Kim's confusion started as soon as they exited the plane and met the official Armenian delegation sent to greet them. She was heard to have said to her cousin, Kara, "Shouldn't they be dressed... better? At least something from Armani Exchange?"

The mystery for Kim got deeper as the troupe visited memorial sites to the genocide. "I can so see why fashion is so important to Armanians today. Just look at the clothes on that poor girl," she stated to a very peeved tour guide.

Such gaffes by Kim Kardashian were pushing the visit into murky, uncharted territory that could have easily
escalated into an international crisis. Girogio Armani, the eighty year old founder of the Armani fashion empire, flew to Armenia to diffuse the crisis and the confusion. An intervention was orchestrated by the US foreign service, complete with PowerPoint presentation, to make Ms. Kardashian understand that 1.5 million pieces of Armani apparel were not destroyed by the nefarious Turks in 1915.

After some time and reflection, Kim Kardashian has a complete understanding of the socio-political history of the Armenian Genocide.

Her husband, Kanye West, is another story. When talking with the religious leaders of Armenia he reportedly said, "God chose me. He made a path for me. I am God's Armani Prive."