Washington, DC - Louisiana representative Maxwell Dean Fox III has proposed legislation to ban the mangagement ring. Representative Fox had to explain to his colleagues that a mangagement ring is used by women who wish to publicly state that their fiancee is officially off the market. Stunned representatives didn't know that such things were already legal and agreed it was time to act.
The Act to Restore Male Dignity, the bill's official name, states "The mangagement ring is a curse against men, the Founders of our great nation, and God almighty. No woman has the right to debase her man in public in such a way. Are we going to force parents to explain the mangagment ring to their children?" The bill has broad support in the House as well as the Senate. President Obama has stated that he is morally against mangagement rings, but does not believe they should be illegal unless 51% of the likely voters in the next presidential election think so.
The marriage-industrial complex responded quickly to the proposed law. A tide of pro-bling lobbyists have descended upon the capitol. After a long meeting with lawmakers Jeremy Conquest, head lobbyist for De Beers Jewelery, and several prominent politicians met with the media. "We have made significant progress today with forming a resistance against this tyrannical bill that undermines the American way of life," Mr Conquest stated. Afterwards, The Newest Newsy News confronted pro-mangagement ring Senator James Gleck on his controversial stance. Senator Gleck stated that he supported equality amongst the sexes. The good senator did not wish to comment his new platinum dental grill, gold chain, and iced out jewelery he was wearing.
The Act to Restore Male Dignity, the bill's official name, states "The mangagement ring is a curse against men, the Founders of our great nation, and God almighty. No woman has the right to debase her man in public in such a way. Are we going to force parents to explain the mangagment ring to their children?" The bill has broad support in the House as well as the Senate. President Obama has stated that he is morally against mangagement rings, but does not believe they should be illegal unless 51% of the likely voters in the next presidential election think so.
The marriage-industrial complex responded quickly to the proposed law. A tide of pro-bling lobbyists have descended upon the capitol. After a long meeting with lawmakers Jeremy Conquest, head lobbyist for De Beers Jewelery, and several prominent politicians met with the media. "We have made significant progress today with forming a resistance against this tyrannical bill that undermines the American way of life," Mr Conquest stated. Afterwards, The Newest Newsy News confronted pro-mangagement ring Senator James Gleck on his controversial stance. Senator Gleck stated that he supported equality amongst the sexes. The good senator did not wish to comment his new platinum dental grill, gold chain, and iced out jewelery he was wearing.