Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Eric Trump Receives A Genetically Modified Pig Organ


It's a medical miracle. For the first time, doctors successfully transplanted an organ from a pig into a human being. The emergency surgery occurred last weekend and so far the patient is doing fine. The recipient is no other than Eric Trump.

Eric Trump received a genetically modified brain of a two-year-old Sus domesticus (barnyard pig). Scientists removed a troublesome gene responsible for pig organs to be rejected by their human hosts. It's a huge step forward for the medical profession as well as for Eric Trump.

"Eric was always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time and making idiotic statements," said longtime family associate Andrew Canard. "Just last week he went on FOX News to support anti-vaxxers who drink their own pee in order to fight COVID. That was the straw that broke the camel's back."

Sources say Eric's father, former President Donald J. Trump, organized the procedure. As the elections are getting closer the senior Trump wanted to make sure everyone close to him is ready for the challenge.

"Pigs are smart. They are so smart. The smartest animals at the farm. We got the smartest pig at the best farm for Eric. It's going to be incredible. Eric's a lot smarter than that pig in that book." the former President said.  

So far, those closest to Eric are noticing an impressive upgrade. He's talking in complete sentences and is beginning to understand many subjects. Of course, there is a chance he's getting a little too smart. If he starts thinking too much on his own there are rumors his dad has the old brain in storage and it can be put back in if necessary.

In related news, COVID-19 shows us how smart horror movie characters are.