Friday, December 16, 2022

Anthony Fauci Attacks Donald Trump's NFT Collectible Cards

Anthony Fauci is leaving public service. After spending over fifty years he's looking forward to leaving government work and trying something new. However, the acting director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases still has a lot to say, and he's warning the public against the health perils of former Donald J. Trump's NFT collectible cards.

Former President Trump announced the release of the collectibles that features him as a superhero, a cowboy, and an astronaut. He made a short video promoting the items.

I'm doing my first official Donald J Trump NFT collection right here and right now. They're called Trump digital trading cards. These cards feature some of the really incredible artwork pertaining to my life and my career. 

It's been very exciting you can collect your Trump digital cards just like a baseball card or other collectibles. Here's one of the best parts, each card comes with an automatic chance to win amazing prizes like dinner with me -- I don't know if that's an amazing prize but it's what we have -- or golf with you and a group of your friends at one of my beautiful golf courses. And they are beautiful. I'm also doing Zoom calls a one-on-one meeting, autographing memorabilia, and so much more.

My official Trump digital trading cards are $99 which doesn't sound like very much for what you're getting. Buy one and you will join a very exclusive community. It's my community, and I think it's something you're going to like and you're going to like it a lot.

They also make perfect gifts. You can buy them with your credit card or crypto. All you need is an email address. Go to and buy your Trump digital trading cards right now before they are all gone. This is my first official Trump trading card NFT collection, and you get a chance to meet me!  Go to right now and remember Christmas is coming and this makes a great Christmas gift. 

Although the products just came out, Anthony Fauci is warning Americans to wear proper protection while interacting with them due to the sad fact that the NFTs are swarming with sexually transmitted diseases. "Initial test results show that these things have chlamydia, gonorrhea, both types of herpes, and things I've never even heard of," Dr. Fauci said. "To make matters worse, Trump's NFTs also carry Russian computer viruses." 

Independent medical institutions are confirming Fauci's concerns. Professor Andrew Canard teaches at Harvard Medical Fish School. He believes the public health threat posed by Trump is epic and advises the Republican Party to spray disinfectant on the former President. "They made the mess, and they should be the ones to clean it up," he said.

In related news, former Vice President Mike Pence vows to fight "sexy" homophones.