Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Sarah Palin Saves Confederate Flag From Liberals

Columbia, South Carolina Sarah Palin and her band band of Freedomeers rode into the capitol of South Carolina under the cover of broad daylight, and stole the Confederate flag that flew on top of the state capitol building.

Onlookers were amazed as Ms Palin trotted down Main Street on her horse Mickey at 2 o'clock this afternoon. She was at the front of approximately one hundred followers. Some rode on motorcycles. Others drove beat up pickup trucks with vanity plates that featured members of the Duck Dynasty marketing empire. All involved wore special t shirts specially made for the occasion that read Liberating Freedom 2015! in the front and on the back had Official Freedomeer! emblazoned with the Confederate flag.

Ms Palin and her plucky band quickly dismounted their rides and entered the state capitol building without incident. Within minutes the Confederate flag was drawn down, and then Ms Palin emerged on the front steps holding the symbol of the South high over her head proclaiming, "Obama will never take away our pride!"

As quickly as the Freedomeers appeared, they were gone.

A small group of Confederate flag protesters were present at the site and witnessed the entire act of liberation. What many stated as odd was how the local police were more than happy to keep the predominantly black crowd in their place, and did nothing as an all white group barged into the seat of government, made their way through the building, and then stole state property (the Confederate flag).

When questioned, an anonymous police officer stated, "Yeah, we knew they were coming. They called up beforehand. Who are we to stand in their way?"

Sarah Palin released an official press release regarding the incident.
First they came for our racist flag, then our toast.
Hey, America! Did you just get an injection of independence? You bet you did! Middle class Americans are tired of the same old retreaded policies made by old tires that bent that backs of people who need a strong workout of their core principles. And I am here as their abdomalizer! Thank you all, Tea Party of America! If it wasn't for you we would all be drinking socialist Swedish breakfast toast!