Monday, September 4, 2023

Ron DeSantis's Shocking Citizenship Test Failure Reveals Unprecedented Ignorance

Not the right answer.

TALLAHASSEE, FL - In a stunning turn of events, Florida Governor and presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis has failed the U.S. citizenship test, raising serious concerns about his understanding of American history and government. The test, which is required for immigrants seeking to become U.S. citizens, covers basic knowledge of American civics and history. It consists of 100 questions, and applicants must answer at least 60 of them correctly to pass. However, DeSantis struggled to answer even the most fundamental questions.

DeSantis, who has been a vocal advocate for strict immigration policies and has positioned himself as a defender of American values, could not even correctly name the first president of the United States. When asked who that was, he hesitated and then guessed "Abraham Lincoln."

"It's an honest mistake," DeSantis said with a shrug. "They were both presidents, right?"

But DeSantis's ignorance went beyond just presidential trivia. He also struggled to identify the three branches of government, mistaking the Supreme Court for the "Supreme Pizza."

When questioned about the purpose of the Bill of Rights, DeSantis responded, "To protect the right to bear arms, of course!" It seems he may have confused the Second Amendment with the entire Bill of Rights, which includes freedoms such as freedom of speech, freedom from religion, and the press.

Perhaps the most embarrassing moment came when DeSantis was asked to name one of the original thirteen colonies. He confidently declared, "Disneyland!" When corrected, he argued that Disneyland had been around "for, like, forever," and should definitely count as one of the original colonies.

The test also revealed DeSantis's lack of knowledge about the Constitution. When asked about the First Amendment, he replied, "I think it's the one that lets you buy guns without any restrictions, right?" In reality, the First Amendment protects freedom of speech, religion, and the press.

Political opponents were quick to pounce on DeSantis's failure, calling it a "shocking display of incompetence" and questioning his fitness for public office.

"Ron DeSantis's inability to pass a basic citizenship test is a disgrace," said one critic. "How can we trust someone to lead our state when he can't even demonstrate a basic understanding of American government?"

DeSantis, however, brushed off the criticism, insisting that the test was "rigged" against him. "I think they intentionally asked me the hardest questions," he said. "I'm a very stable genius, believe me."

As the news of his citizenship test failure spreads, many are left wondering if Ron DeSantis is truly qualified to hold public office in the United States. After all, if he can't pass a simple civics test, can he be trusted to uphold the principles of American democracy? Only time will tell, but for now, it's clear that DeSantis has a lot of studying to do.