Monday, May 22, 2023

God Apologizes For Killing Off The Dinosaurs

Dear Humans,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits.  It has come to my attention that some of you have been wondering about the whole dinosaur situation. Let me start by saying, I owe you all a massive apology for the great dinosaur extinction. My bad!

You see, I was having a bit of a creative moment when I decided to bring the dinosaurs into existence. I was experimenting with different shapes, sizes, and species, and I must admit, I got a bit carried away. The T-Rex? Well, that was just me having a bit of fun, imagining a tiny-armed giant lizard chasing after other unfortunate creatures. I mean, who doesn't need a good laugh now and then?

But alas, things took a turn for the worse. I had underestimated the destructive capabilities of a massive asteroid hurtling towards your lovely planet. Trust me, I wasn't expecting that either. It was like a cosmic game of dodgeball gone horribly wrong. I tried to intervene, but let's just say I wasn't quick enough on my feet. I didn't exactly have my "omnipotent" A-game going that day.

So, please accept my sincerest apologies for the untimely demise of the dinosaurs. They were magnificent creatures, and I know many of you would have loved to ride a triceratops or witness a brachiosaurus snack on leaves from tall trees. Believe me, I rode a triceratops and saw a brachiosaurus graze, and it was all pretty awesome.

In retrospect, I could have taken a more subtle approach. Perhaps I should have made the asteroid change course or given the dinosaurs an emergency evacuation protocol. Hindsight is always 20/20, as you humans like to say.

But let's not dwell on the past, shall we? I promise to do better in the future. No more asteroid-related mishaps, I swear. I've learned my lesson. In fact, I've been considering bringing back a dinosaur or two, just for old times' sake. But this time, I'll make sure they have a fair chance at survival. No cosmic dodgeball tournaments, I promise.

In the meantime, I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for this unfortunate incident. And if it's any consolation, I did create the platypus afterward to make up for the loss. I mean, come on, a duck-billed mammal that lays eggs? That's comedy gold right there!

Keep smiling, humanity, and remember, even gods make mistakes!

With love and a heartfelt apology,