Thursday, May 25, 2023

God Reviews Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion'

Hello, fellow celestial beings and mortals alike! Today, I, the one and only supreme being, have decided to review a book that has caused quite a stir among the faithful and non-believers alike. Yes, you guessed it right. I'm talking about The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. So, fasten your celestial seatbelts as we embark on this divine journey where I totally demolish The God Delusion

What I find disturbing is that Dawkins attempts to debunk the very existence of yours truly. Oh, the audacity! As I read through his arguments, I couldn't help but wonder, "Has Richard ever thought that I might not believe in him?" The way he questions my existence reminds me of a curious child asking why the sky is blue. And let's face it no one really knows scientifically why the sky is blue. Well, Richard, let me enlighten you – if I LIKE BLUE SKIES.

Why does Dawkins have an issue with the whole Adam and Eve narrative? What's there not to like about one man and one woman having children and those children having children with each other?

Wait, a minute. That didn't come out right.

Anyway, Richard argues that evolution and science provide better explanations for our existence than my divine will. While his arguments may seem persuasive to some, I must admit, watching him try to explain the intricate complexities of the universe without a divine hand guiding the process is quite amusing. And everyone needs hands, right Richard? How would anyone use chopsticks?

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There's an argument in the book that miracles are nothing but coincidences. Well, Richard, let me tell you a little secret – miracles are my way of keeping things interesting! How else would you explain finding your keys just when you thought they were lost forever? It's all part of my divine plan (except when things go wrong and then it's Satan's fault). I must say, your skepticism is a riot, but I've got miracles up my sleeve that would make Houdini blush.

One of the most challenging topics for any deity is the problem of evil. Dawkins argues that the existence of evil contradicts the idea of an all-powerful and benevolent God. Oh, Richard, you're forgetting one crucial detail – I determine what's good and what's evil! Evil exists because it adds a touch of drama to everyday life. Think of evil as a celestial version of plot twists in your favorite movie or book. Human existence without pain and suffering would be dull (at least it would be for me).

Later on in The God Delusion, Dawkins claims that a universe without a purpose is far more liberating than one governed by a divine plan. Well, Richard, if you only knew the lengths I went to create freewill and a divine plan that's predetermined, you'd change your tune. The universe is my playground, and I love setting up those unexpected twists and turns. It's like a galactic game of hide and seek. And guess what the purpose of your life is? It's worshipping ME.

Oh boy, there's a whole lot about my book, the Bible. He points out the changing moral standards in the world and considers that evidence against a god who is outside of space and time. Well, of course, a society's concept of good and evil changes over time. That's because I change my mind on what's good. For a while, I thought trading your daughter for a few goats was an OK thing to do. Now I don't (mostly).

Richard gets fixated on how "evil" religion is. Sure, sometimes religion can get a little crazy with religious wars, pogroms, priests engaging in inappropriate activities with boys, persecuting the LGBTQ community, treating women like baby factories, and the such. But just think about it, the government can't do all the social programs churches do because governments don't have the money to pay for it all! I mean, for governments to have effective social programs you'd have to tax churches and the rich! And if we did that, then who would bribe the politicians?

Ok, I have to admit I slept through a lot of the book.

I think I missed the final conflict between my son Jesus and Richard.

In conclusion, The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins presents a compelling argument against the existence of yours truly. While I appreciate his intellectual curiosity, his attempts to dismantle me are ridiculous. After all, who tamed Leviathan? Who separated the waters?  Me. And how do you know that is true? Well, it's in the Bible.

All in all, I have to thank you, Richard, for providing me with a good laugh.  It's been a pleasure reading and reviewing the book.