Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Tucker Carlson And Bill O'Reilly's Podcast Fail

Former FOX News stars Tucker Carlson and Bill O'Reilly attempted to team up and create their own podcast, Rebels Without a Network (RWN). Both men were initially excited about the opportunity to work together and bring hard-hitting news analysis to their listeners. However, personality clashes brought an end to those dreams.

Carlson and O'Reilly both had hit shows on the conservative news network and were eventually undone by their own deeds. FOX News paid millions to silence the women who charged O'Reilly with sexual misconduct. FOX eventually had to fire him. Tucker Carlson's brutally honest texts to other FOX News stars like Sean Hannity were unearthed during the Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit. And that caused the man who propagated election lies to be terminated.

Tucker Carlson's wife Susan Andrews first thought of the RWN podcast as a way to keep her husband busy. "Whenever he has downtime he starts talking to me. I can handle it for about 5 minutes and then it gets too much and I start baking cookies as an escape," she said. "With him out of work I'm going to gain 10 pounds of cookie weight and that's unacceptable."

O'Reilly was only too happy to agree to do the podcast. Up until then most of his time was spent yelling at ghostwriters who write his books, laughing gleefully at the royalty checks for those book sales, and definitely not riding public transportation and groping women. It turns out that paying off women on the bus is a lot cheaper than FOX News professionals.

"I need to tell people the truth. And what I mean as the truth is words my audience wants to hear," O'Reilly said before he clashed with Carlson. 

There were issues from the beginning. Two alpha-dog conservatives can't be in the same small space without jockeying for position. Who was going to be the bigger danger to society, democracy, and fact-based facts? It was obvious to everyone at the recording studio there was going to be trouble.

Once in the studio together to record their first podcast episode the two men immediately started clashing. Reportedly, Carlson brought a Barbie doll just in case his cohost got the urge to get "handy" with female staff. The idea was that he could take out his urges on the Barbie. On the other hand, O'Reilly brought in a pretend play cell phone for Carlson just in case Tucker got the urge to text inappropriately.

"I never knew two grown men to be so childish," said sound engineer Andy Canard. "It was a master class on idiocy."

With the death of RWN Carlson's wife is setting records for baking cookies. Friends close to her believe it's only a matter of time before she appears on reality baking show competitions or files for divorce.

In related news, Alex Jones' new dietary supplement contains cat poo.