Thursday, March 21, 2013

Michelle Obama Scandal Erupts!

Michelle is about to be impeached.
There is a real possibility that she will
abdicate from being First Lady.

Washington DC Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner, has officially levelled charges against Michelle Obama. The federal government held its collective breath as the Republican from Ohio read the charges against the First Lady.
Simply put, Michelle Obama's relationship with the organic food industrial complex is improper, and is clearly a high crime of these United States.
Speaker Boehner continued to cite evidence gathered by the FBI on how Mrs. Obama's Let's Move campaign, the nationwide childhood anti-obesity drive, was used by the First Lady to funnel tens of pounds of fresh organic food into the White House.

The official deposition states all of the sins of the Let's Move organization and may embroil the President Obama himself. Here are excerpts from the document.

  1. The First Lady provided misleading documentation concerning the monetary relationship between Sunshine Organic Farms, herself, and Let's Move.
  2. The First Lady received an inappropriate amount of potatoes, apples, and other wholesome foodstuffs at no cost to her from said farm.
  3. The First Lady abused her position by not offering any of those healthy fruits and vegetables at the dinner that I (John Boehner) attended at the White House last Tuesday night. 
Sunshine Organic Farms issued a statement that it regularly sends fresh produce to Washington DC politicians who are not 'jerk-heads.' Boehner's office publicly replied that it had never received any shipments, and that the Speaker's feelings were hurt.

Sunshine Organic Farms has not as of yet responded.

If impeached Mrs. Obama will no longer be First Lady of these United States. There is talk deep inside the White House that if necessary the comedian Wanda Sykes may be tapped for the job.

*This is a fake story. Fakity-fake.