Monday, March 14, 2011

Royal Wedding Gets A Sponsor!

Darling, you are my Cinderella.
London, England - It is official: The people of Great Britain refuse to pay for the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Mass protests flooded central London today in response to rumors that the royal wedding could cost up to 40 million pounds in tax payer money. Grandmums sealed off major arteries to the city by setting up tables and chairs in order to have high tea. Even though the city ground to a halt no one was angry because the grandmums' shortbread and crumpets were so epic.

David Cameron, Prime Minister of Great Britain, called an emergency meeting of the media. He stated that he had heard the outcry of the protesters. Extreme situations call for extreme decisions. In that spirit the rights for the Royal Wedding have been sold to the Disney Corporation. Disney will cover all expenses for the happy couple. Of course, the wedding will be altered to meet the sensibilities of Disney Corp. Kate Middleton will not be transported by the Royal Carriage, but carried by Cinderella's coach specially flown in from Florida. The Royal Guard will be replaced by Mickey Mouse and his adorable friends. The Bishop of Canterbury will not officiate the ceremony. Rather, Donald Duck will have the honor of marrying the happy couple. Kate will have the choice to wear any dress from the Princesses' wardrobe. 

Newest Newsy News found the soon to be princess and broke the story to her. Tears of joy streamed down her face accompanied by deep, heaving sobs of ecstasy. When her fiancee was asked to comment he replied, "It could have been considerably worse. I had heard that Lucas Films was bidding for the account, and the last thing I want is George Lucas directing my wedding. I hate Jar Jar Binks."

* This story is 100% fake.
** picture by Nick Warner and Alexandre Goulet; modifications made by Bdell555